Friends, Now

When I count the number of people in my life who have been truly good friends, I get a very small number.

There were many casual friends from my old employer. I used to see them every workday. Some of them I had known for more than 20 years. After that long, I would have thought a few of them may well deserve to be included as my good friends now. Of course, I have not worked for nearly five years now, and I rarely, if ever, run into any of them. Of the entire bunch, there is only one I still consider a good friend.

Old high school friends have a similar fate. I knew many then, but not that many close ones. There are only a few left today. Most of them I only see on Facebook. I get friend requests at times and have to look the person up in my yearbooks to even see if I used to know them. Most of the time, I am surprised by who requests from my old class. I was not even aware that most of them knew who I was back then. I guess in a way, they are at least social media friends, although I do not think I could count on many to be there in need as a friend can and should be. One I count as one of my best friends from that time; I rarely see them, and we live in the same town now. Another one I see only every ten years or so if we both make it to the same reunion. Even though we see each other that rarely, we still have a lot in common in some ways. And I know I can always call on her in a time of need.  

Then, there was a really close friend whom I met shortly after I arrived in this area. If things had worked out a bit differently, she may have been more than a friend. But I was a bit late meeting her. By the time I arrived here, she was already destined to marry someone else. It turned out my time knowing her was very limited. This story may be written about later, but for now, I will just say that she was killed in an accident with a drunk driver. 

A few friends are linked to my relationship. If my divorce was any indication, I am not sure those really count as my friends, no matter how long I have known them. I know of no one who was a friend before my divorce in any way now.

I do have one male friend that I think I could count on, maybe two. But most of the friends I have now are women. Why? I am not sure. Guys just do not seem to keep in touch. Or maybe it is just not accepted that a guy could help out another guy in a time of need, say, for support in an emotional upheaval after some trauma. So you just do not think of them when it is time to ask.

One thing I have learned recently, though, is that friends are still out there to be found. Although I may have stopped looking for a while, the key to finding these people is to recognize they are there and to pay attention when you see them. It may be as simple as that. And if you see a potential friend, try to not let the opportunity to get to know them slip away. Maybe there could be a reason for you to meet just at this precise instant of time. The universe may be trying to tell you something.