Sometimes you have to “unwrite” to improve a sentence.
I read an interview of a famous writer whose name escapes me. It was long ago. He was asked how he knew the correct words to include in a piece of writing. He responded that it was more important to know the correct words to remove.
This is the final sentence to an important chapter of my current Work in Progress. I started with the version below.
“I looked away from Izak, raising my hand to my face, my thumb and forefinger pressed to my eyes, in an attempt to quell that all too familiar sting in my eyes.”
That wasn’t bad, but I knew I could improve it.
The final version is below.
“I looked away from Izak and pressed my thumb and forefinger to my eyes, trying to quell the familiar sting.”
Through the “Version History” provided by MS Word, the edits are shown below:
I looked away from Izak and pressed , raising my hand to my face, my thumb and forefinger pressed to my eyes, tryingin an attempt to quell thethat all too familiar sting. in my eyes.
Memory is the Key 