I am writing my tenth “work in progress.” In it, my main character is realizing why he exists. Hmm. I guess I am in the same boat as him.
After a fulfilling life with my wife Judy for 36 years, she passed away in 2019. I was faced with the choice to move ahead with my life. Writing has been, and still is, a major reason I have been capable of doing that. Now, I have rekindled an old interest of mine. Actually, it involves two things I have been interested in and had left behind.
Being a caregiver for a spouse with a long-term illness puts everything else on hold. But these two interests were put on hold shortly after we met. The first one was that I had enjoyed seeing local bands around town. Originally, we did things like that, you know, in the guise of “dating” even though we were already living together. She liked the music, but not the crowds.
The other thing was a hobby I had since high school: photography. It quickly became more about snapping photos to document our time together. I have thousands of pictures of her and us together. I am thankful for that.
So, how did I combine an old interest with an even older hobby?
I go to local venues where bands play and take photos and videos (now possible on every smartphone). What do I do with them? I share them on a Facebook group that promotes local music.
It is another way to create. I find myself increasingly aware of seeking the best camera angles. I also watch the band’s leader to see who will be taking a solo. This helps me focus my videos. Additionally, I watch for their cue that the song is about to end.
It is the most fun I have had, other than writing, in well, since Judy’s death.
Writing is solitary. It feels amazing. The work I have been doing for six months to a year is finally coming together. Soon, I will start another novel.
Sharing music videos and photos of bands is extremely social. Sure, it requires you to be out and about among the crowds, which my wife wasn’t comfortable with. But those crowds are now what I enjoy most about the experience.
Because I share something they enjoy on social media, they can see my videos there. People in the audience recognize me from posts about gigs they attended or played at. They come up to me. They thank me for what I am doing. They ask if they can join me at my table. Some of them have become good friends.
I believe Judy, wherever she is now, would be proud of me and of how I have reinvented my life.
Memory is the Key 